Transparency vs Spin in Healers
January 21, 2009
We would all love to believe that there’s a healer somewhere who can heal anything. Lots of people would love you to believe that they are that very healer! But the truth is such a healer doesn’t exist. The outcome of healing is always uncertain. The best of healers have people who don’t heal (at least in the ways they had hoped). Sometimes profound healings happen, and at other times nothing seems to happen. There are people who dedicate themselves to helping others heal and often they do. And yet, sometimes healing happens without a healer or an herb or supplement or anything that we can point to as a possible cause. “Spontaneous remissions” happen which do not involve a healer and sometimes aren’t even sought for. Someone could even fail to be healed with a skilled healer and then receive healing with a charlatan. All sorts of things can happen with healing.
Where do all these contradictions and paradoxes leave us? We aren’t left with easy answers, but if we are at least able to start by acknowledging what actually happens with healing rather than believe the spin that gets put on it, we at least have a chance of finding some useful answers.
There is a lot of talk now about transparency in government. We need to know what is actually going on, how things are being done, where they money is being spent and so on if we are going to be able to participate in shaping our futures. I think transparency when it comes to healing is also important. A recent comment on the website really struck me and made me want to address this issue.
Michele wrote:
“Why am I not experiencing Reiki as profoundly as EVERY publication describes, and why is there NOTHING on the internet or in books about Reiki difficulties?”
You can read Michele’s full comment and my reply here. Discussions about the challenges healers face and the varied outcomes they have do happen in some classes. They sometimes go on between students and their teachers or mentors of healing. But it’s true, you don’t see much about this in books or on the internet. My sense is that this is because most of what you read is by someone who is promoting a particular healing system or their own products and services. Of course, the only testimonials displayed are about the successes, not the “failures”. (Actually I don’t think there are failures in healing, but that’s a discussion for another time.) To some extent, those who make money as healers have an investment in keeping a mystique around healing, the idea that there’s some magic that can work every time. They may even do this unconsciously, selectively remembering the best outcomes and ignoring or explaining away the others. Whether conscious or unconscious, much of what you read about healing has a definite spin.
I feel it would be of great value to have more transparency in holistic and alternative healing. Although I feel the scientific method has its limitations in the realm of healing, it seems like science helps to keep the medical profession more “real”. You don’t see MDs advertising with testimonials to their cures. I think transparency might go a long way in helping us to be more mature and wise in the way we approach healing. That may not mean we subject everything to scientific research, but it would mean that we speak openly and truthfully about the outcomes we have actually observed. It would also mean that we look more deeply at what we mean by healing.
Of course, true transparency would change the face of marketing. Look at what it has done to commercials for drugs. After the lovely promise of a good night’s sleep or pain free joints, comes a long list of possible side effects. Although an ad for Reiki or an energy healer would not really need a list of side effects, it could include information about the different forms healing may take and reference to the inability to predict outcomes.
Often when people are attracted to becoming healers, it’s with unrealistic expectations. Unfortunately this can lead to disappointment and giving up on a path that could prove really rewarding. Because Michele’s experience didn’t match the descriptions she’d heard, she said:
“This makes me feel like I am not worthy to do Reiki, although I REALLY want to share it with others in a way that is truly helpful to them.”
My feeling is that if someone has the desire and intention to offer healing and does so in the right way, only good can come of it. It can nourish both the healer and the person seeking to be healed. Even the failure to achieve a desired result is a step along the way. Healing is always possible, even when it is not what we had hoped. It may just take a different form.
In the interests of exploring this more, and creating a place to discuss difficulties with healing and questions, I’ve created a Healers’ Corner page. I’d love to hear from healers about their views, experiences and questions about being a healer.
A true healer
January 18, 2008
It was long before I lay down on the table for acupuncture that I began to feel healing happening. It was in the tone of his voice, his total lack of judgment, the loving quality which seemed to surround him. I came to him very much in need of healing as I had been experiencing excruciating back pain for three weeks. My emotional body was totally jangled and I felt overwhelmed. By the end of the session, I felt completely different, and the session proved to be a real turning point in my healing process.
Of course, we all respond to different healers, and a someone who is a healer for me might not be a healer for you. It also depends on our receptivity at the time we see someone, as well as factors too complicated and mysterious to fully uncover which have to do with why something heals when it does. Nevertheless, this acupuncturist was definitely a healer for me. As I left his office, I thought “this is a true healer” and started to think about the qualities that make for a good healer and positive healing experience. Since I’ve heard other people in my area call him a healer as well, I felt it was worth exploring the qualities that are present in an effective healer.
Here are some of the things I came up with, and I’d be interesting in what others might add to the list:
- Is non-judgmental. I felt completely accepted and did not feel like I was being judged in any way.
- Makes life-supporting, positive statements. He spoke of his findings in positive terms. For example, he might say “your core issue is with this chakra and I’ll give that some attention”, rather than “this chakra is clogged up and blocked”. None of his statements created a sense of alarm or fear or discouragement. He never made me feel “broken” in any way.
- Is supportive without being emotionally reactive.
- Cares without being emotionally involved.
- Is self-confident and yet humble.
- Creates a sense of safety and trust.
- Works in partnership with you. Honors your thoughts and perceptions.
- Is not attached to the outcome of the work.
- Is open to questions.
- Listens deeply.
As I wrote this list, I realized how difficult it is to describe exactly what makes someone a good healer. There is a quality of “presence” that is impossible to describe. Something about them invokes a “healing response” in you. Perhaps the best way to identify a true healer is to tune into how you respond to someone. Healing is much more likely to happen if the healer makes you feel relaxed and safe, so that you are open and receptive to their treatments.
I’m also struck by the fact that I never mentioned this healer’s expertise in acupuncture. He is obviously very skilled both in acupuncture and energy therapy (he used hands-on energy healing as well as acupuncture). My sense is that while technical skill is very important, in many cases it will be useless if the healer’s personality does not allow you to be receptive.
What is healing?
June 28, 2007
A yoga teacher once said to me that she didn’t have any interest in healing. She said she was healthy and didn’t feel she needed healing. This was shocking to me. Didn’t everyone have some need for healing? Later, she was one of the people who tested our Everyday Energy Healing CD. She loved it. She enjoyed the experience of giving and receiving a chakra balancing. She wanted to learn more. It was then that it dawned on me that the difference in our interests was a matter of how we used the word healing. For her it was confined to having a physical problem. For me, it was about all of life. It was about coming into greater balance and wholeness.
I continually ask the question — what is healing? At this point, the word has almost lost its meaning, as I see all of life as a process of “becoming whole”. Unless I am using the word in a very narrow way to refer to the healing of an injury or illness, I can’t really say anymore what healing is. This is a very interesting state of affairs for someone who has a website called “Heart of Healing”!
When I first started the work I called Heart of Healing, I was very focused on making things better. I certainly haven’t lost my interest in better physical, psychological and spiritual health, but what I’ve discovered to be the most healing is the growing acceptance of life just as it is. An intensive focus on healing can result in the kind of goal orientation that makes it impossible to relax and enjoy what you have right now. I haven’t in any way abandoned my focus on health and healing — it’s a way of life for me, but I have been learning to let go of the outcome of my efforts. This kind of acceptance, for me, has become the ultimate meaning of healing.