Comments on: Aging Gracefully

By: Christie

Christie — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 23:15:46 +0000

Hello. I’m twenty years old, so my comment might seem a little ‘out of place’, but I’d just like to say that I really admire the message that this site is putting out there. I’ve had a fear of aging and of dying ever since I was small, and my fears have been increasing over the past couple of years, as people my own age seem to be purposefully ignoring the fact that they one day (with any luck!) will themselves be old, and, even though they hide it with jokes, always seem repulsed about anything that has to do with people over fifty.
Ageism is one form of discrimination I find particularly repulsive: I can’t stand the way most ‘young’ people talk of older people as a sub group, as though they were animals in a zoo, nor can I stand the taboo, condescendance and political correctness that surrounds sexuality and intellect past 60.
However, even though I completely agree that life is short enough as it is without society doing its best to convice us that the last 10 or 20 years or so of it are barely worth living, I can’t deny that getting old is something that frightens me immensely, not least because I’m very worried about how people will consider and treat people my age, especially in these times when youth is worshipped more than ever. It’s also a bit embarassing to admit that, even though I completely condemn the image of beauty that advertising is giving, I get very worried at times about the loss of my looks, and even more about the looks of my partner. Its just so painful to imagine that someone I consider to be so amazingly beautiful might one day look differently. I really hope that as I get older, I can manage to apply the messages of well-being that are transmitted on this site, and be as wise as all those oldies out there who know how to live life to da full a thousand time better than any young people I know! If anyone has any advice, or any personal anecdoctes to share about how they dealt with these same fears, I’d be really grateful.

Thanks for listening

Christie

By: Pam Hill

Pam Hill — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 12:20:59 +0000

What a great website! I’ve been struggling with aging and “kicking and screaming” at each new wrinkle and sagging skin. I want to “age gracefully” as I admire those who do. I think having a good sense of humor must help too!

By: Mary

Mary — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 18:40:39 +0000

Phyllis, It’s all about self-love — true self-love which is unconditional. Maybe a good counsellor can help you learn this. That would probably be a good idea, especially as you say you are in a deep depression. Surgery isn’t the answer! Best wishes.

By: Phyllis

Phyllis — Sun, 07 Aug 2011 15:53:29 +0000

Like Vanita, I also got by on my looks but now, over 70 the sagging, bagging has taken over. I have become fixated on a once attractive, but asymetrical face which now, because of the difference in facial supportive structure and therefore more sagging on one side, and shifting of lower teeth, has exacerbated the unequal appearance. I am ashamed to say that this has taken over my life and sent me into a deep depression/anxiety. I realize that there are so many more important things in life, but I don’t seem to be able to get past this — and I am afraid of surgery. How do I make peace with this?

By: A few thoughts… « ladyinredlipstick

A few thoughts… « ladyinredlipstick — Tue, 17 May 2011 01:43:30 +0000

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By: Mary

Mary — Sun, 08 May 2011 15:47:45 +0000

vanita, It is so sad that so many women feel this way. Older people can have a beauty a younger person can’t. It comes from making peace with oneself, and hopefully you can take this stage in your life as a challenge to find that peace. Best wishes.

By: vanita

vanita — Sun, 08 May 2011 02:58:13 +0000

I was searching for something positive about the aging process when I came across your site. I am trying to accept the fact that I am getting older, the fact that I was always able to get by on my looks is not an option anymore..I kind of feel lost, I am in college with a lot of young people, and I just so wish I wasn’t turning into the old hag I see in the mirror everyday. It’s so depressing,

By: Kay

Kay — Sun, 01 May 2011 19:43:59 +0000

I wonder if trying to be what we are not just becomes very focused as we age….accepting it and working with what we truly have, experiences, history, wisdom would be such a relief…. I’ve lost people I’ve cared for throughout my life including my beloved dad as a youngster and it’s taught me to live it and not expect it to last. Then again I seem to spend most of my time with youngsters! There’s so much out there always!

By: Mary

Mary — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 16:42:48 +0000

Thank you for your thoughtful comment, steve. Yes, I agree, there is so much we lose as we age — time ahead and possibilities become less, and the body does decline. There’s a lot to come to grips with! I feel part of coming to grips is allowing ourselves to grieve these losses. I do think finding peace with aging is a challenge and I’d love to hear how different people have managed to do this.

By: steve

steve — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 08:25:56 +0000

I also typed in “accepting aging” and found this site. While I agree that as a society, our collective attitudes about aging could stand some revision, I’m still having trouble with the undeniable “down side” of aging: your body DOES steadily deteriorate over time. You increasingly DO have far less time in front of you than behind you. etc. I feel that I “accept” these things, in the sense that I know them to be true, but that is not the same thing as being at peace with them. I think that is the major obstacle to most people coming to grips with this subject (whatever age they may be)