A true healer
January 18, 2008
It was long before I lay down on the table for acupuncture that I began to feel healing happening. It was in the tone of his voice, his total lack of judgment, the loving quality which seemed to surround him. I came to him very much in need of healing as I had been experiencing excruciating back pain for three weeks. My emotional body was totally jangled and I felt overwhelmed. By the end of the session, I felt completely different, and the session proved to be a real turning point in my healing process.
Of course, we all respond to different healers, and a someone who is a healer for me might not be a healer for you. It also depends on our receptivity at the time we see someone, as well as factors too complicated and mysterious to fully uncover which have to do with why something heals when it does. Nevertheless, this acupuncturist was definitely a healer for me. As I left his office, I thought “this is a true healer” and started to think about the qualities that make for a good healer and positive healing experience. Since I’ve heard other people in my area call him a healer as well, I felt it was worth exploring the qualities that are present in an effective healer.
Here are some of the things I came up with, and I’d be interesting in what others might add to the list:
- Is non-judgmental. I felt completely accepted and did not feel like I was being judged in any way.
- Makes life-supporting, positive statements. He spoke of his findings in positive terms. For example, he might say “your core issue is with this chakra and I’ll give that some attention”, rather than “this chakra is clogged up and blocked”. None of his statements created a sense of alarm or fear or discouragement. He never made me feel “broken” in any way.
- Is supportive without being emotionally reactive.
- Cares without being emotionally involved.
- Is self-confident and yet humble.
- Creates a sense of safety and trust.
- Works in partnership with you. Honors your thoughts and perceptions.
- Is not attached to the outcome of the work.
- Is open to questions.
- Listens deeply.
As I wrote this list, I realized how difficult it is to describe exactly what makes someone a good healer. There is a quality of “presence” that is impossible to describe. Something about them invokes a “healing response” in you. Perhaps the best way to identify a true healer is to tune into how you respond to someone. Healing is much more likely to happen if the healer makes you feel relaxed and safe, so that you are open and receptive to their treatments.
I’m also struck by the fact that I never mentioned this healer’s expertise in acupuncture. He is obviously very skilled both in acupuncture and energy therapy (he used hands-on energy healing as well as acupuncture). My sense is that while technical skill is very important, in many cases it will be useless if the healer’s personality does not allow you to be receptive.
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8 Responses to “A true healer”
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Interesting post,
Could you elaborate on not being attached to the outcome of the work? I’m sure this isn’t what it means, but it sounds curiously like the healer isn’t supposed to care if anything they do works.
Interesting that you would ask — I almost left that off the list. In trying to formulate an answer, I realize that I haven’t completely defined this to myself. Thanks for the opportunity to think about this more deeply.
I once went to a healer who was so intent on fixing me (in that instance a shoulder problem) that I could start to feel her frustration as she worked, trying this and that and wanting a report that everything was better. There was something about that that stayed with me. Sometimes things aren’t ready to heal, or aren’t going to heal, and I suppose what I want is some degree of equanimity in the healer — a sense that whatever happens, things are basically “OK”. So there is a kind of emotional attachment that I find counterproductive.
On the other hand, I would want a healer to monitor the results that are achieved with their work and take measures to adjust and improve. The thing that is tricky is that ultimately the results are only partly due to the actions of the healer. The healer’s work is only part of the whole equation of what makes healing happen. Also, an experience with one healer which doesn’t “work”, may nevertheless be an indispensable step in the progress of healing.
Thanks for asking this question. It’s giving me an opportunity to explore more and I’d be interested in your take on this. This is by no means my “final answer”, but an exploration of this very complex subject.
I think what you are getting at is anxiety, so much of illness involves it. If the healer has it too, they can’t well assuage it. It is important to be concerned and helpful, but also not to communicate a sense of failure or frustration to the patient. The patient shouldn’t feel they are a burden to a healer. This isn’t always easy to do, but I do understand it is the goal.
Yes — this is certainly a big part of it!
Acupuncture, I’ve heard, is a great alternative and natural health treatment for many common health conditions and disorders. I’d personally like to find one locally who could address some of my own health problems. Your acupuncturist seems to be a true “healer.”
Thanks for sharing and please feel free to comment back.
Yes, in my experience working with energy pathways is quite powerful. Although my personal experience with acupuncture has been limited, I’ve been impressed so far (most of my experience has been with therapies like Healing Touch).
I enjoyed visiting your Holistic Junction blog and found the posts on acupuncture interesting.
I’m sure, as with all therapies, the effectiveness of the treatment will have a lot to do with the skill of the practitioner. I understand that with acupuncture, as with chiropractic and other modalities, there are different ways of working. And of course finding a true “healer” is an added bonus. Good luck in finding a good acupuncturist in your area. I’d love to hear about your experience with that.
Hi, my sister has a lot of back pains for years now.
She tried modern mecdicines and the pain keep coming back, we tried to find her a “true healer” but so far we haven’t found one.
Could you please refer her to your “true healer”. She is willing to travel.
Thank you so much
Hi Don,
I’m sure there are healers in your area as skilled and compassionate as the one I described. Try to get some referrals to people in your area. There are so many modalities and styles of healing available now, and your sister needs to find just the right one for her. She could come miles to see this particular healer and it might not be quite the right one for her, or the right timing for her and so on. Your sister’s healing process is unfolding from within her, one step at a time, as she tries different healers and methods.